Time to say goodbye

When I started this blog, I thought that it would help my weight loss, after all, I only had 10 kilograms to lose, that should take 3-6 months and then I'd be onto maintenance. How I was wrong. About a year ago, I started gaining, I really don't know why, but maybe my girlfriends resistance towards my losing weight was one of the factors. Maybe. Then I got burgled, which caused more problems in terms of stress and taking away the source of immediate feedback: my graphs on my laptop.

So here I am, almost 20 kilograms over my goal weight, almost double what I started with. Weight loss blogging is a good idea - I have no doubts on that, just that if you are having problems, it probably won't solve them. It is good for writing down how you feel about weight loss, the problems and solutions though.

Anyway, here is what I have learnt through this blog and other sources:

Motivation is the key means far beyond all others

Being slim and eating well is not enough motivation for most people to be successful

A physical, high value thing (such as a new camera, trip overseas etc) is the best motivation in my opinion

Protein really removes appetite for about 3 hours

Having a sleep for a few hours can reduce appetite for about 4 hours

Sugar and bread and related foods increase appetite dramatically

Stress is by far the biggest factor in weight gain

I still intend to lose weight, as I still intend to get the camera. I have a new blog now, totally different though. Simplistic, posting daily, writing about how I feel about my weight loss and stress daily I hope will help things.

Thank you for all those who have left comments on this blog, and for those who simply moved up the counter by one.

Good luck with all of you in your weight loss, I'll still read your blogs and celebrate with you when you reach goal.

3kg lost, 15kg to go

I have pleasure in saying that yet another kg has gone. Whats my secret? I can't really think of any, just trying to not indulge or do anything foolish. The difficult bit is yet to come, of course.

Becky and I were talking about my weight loss, she's been watching me for the last 3 years, with no success, she thinks the chance of my being successful this year is about 8 percent. At least she's honest, and she acknowledges that her use of junk food is making it harder for me to lose it. It doesn't bother me - her lack of faith, she even says that I may decide to finish the weight loss for 'spite'. In other words - to prove her wrong. Thats not the major motivating factor - which is my digital camera, but it all helps.

Lowest weight since 20th Jan, weight: 80.9kg

An invitation to chat

Recently I got broadband, and have since rediscovered chat, something I did in the past but stopped because it used the phone line for long periods. Now that isn't a problem anymore, I decided that it would be nice to chat with fellow weight loss people, so for those who are interested and have msn please send me a message at m1i2h3a4v5o6c7@hotmail.com please remove the numbers to get my correct address.

Another kilogram down

Well, I have pleasure in saying that yet another kilogram has been lost. This makes me equal to my weight on 20th March, about a month ago, 16 more kilograms to lose. I still want to lose this weight, it's quite a lot and there are a whole lot of reasons, both physical and psychological to lose it.

I'm just taking it slow and steady at the moment, not trying to bust myself with the weight loss. Who knows when I'll finish this, I'm not making estimates at the moment, for obvious reasons.

Weight: 82.0kg

Highest weight ever

I delayed posting this (my highest weight was on the 3rd April) but on that date I was my highest weight ever in my life. This was obviously quite disappointing for me, when I started this blog I thought that yeah, it was going to help me lose weight and it would only take one 'go' at it if you know what I mean. How I was wrong!

So I peaked at just over 84kg, 18kg above my goal weight. That's a lot to lose, especially for me. Will I do it? No doubt. I am sure that the camera is still a good idea, the problem is that I am really short of money for it which has caused the recent weight gain.

Anyway, I've been losing since, I have lost 1kg which is pretty good, although it may just be my body emptying out food that I consume, due to me eating less. I'll find out soon.

So my theory was: no money for camera - no weight saved, lost interest in weighing myself therefore weight gain. Sorry but true.

I'll keep this short. I just feel awful about the whole thing, and for this reason I have disabled posting of comments, just for this post. I just can't bear any, positive, negative, neutral.

Weight: 83.0kg, lowest weight in 22 days

100g day

Today it's been pretty easy to consume only 100g of carbohydrate. That's not surprising, since it is quite a lot, I'd actually run out of food here, so I had to eat what I could, so I didn't eat totally properly. Thankfully, I've gone to the supermarket and have bought up on veges and fruit.

Tommorrow I'll try to consume about 80g of carbohydrate - until the evening when I'm allowed to indulge a bit as it's Becky's sisters birthday party. I'll not over do it though, she's paying for it so I'll probably have a few sandwiches and maybe a beer or two.

Good news, Becky and I have made a $150 bet on whether I can stay within 2kg of my goal weight for a year after I reach it! This is good for me for two reasons, first it's motivation to keep me on track, secondly it's more money towards the other camera I want to buy, 3-4 years from now. More on that later.

Carbohydrate experiment

The woman who runs my depression support group yesterday talked about sugar/carbohydrates, which got me thinking about performing a little experiment about seeing what it's like to control the amount of carbohydrates that I eat. Surprisingly, I've never done this, so I'm curious what it's going to be like. I'll start at 100g a day and head down from there, starting today (Friday).

Holding steady

One of the problems with this get-a-new-camera diet is that when I don't have the money to put into my jar, I decide to stop losing weight. Such is the case at the moment: money is a bit tight and it will be so for a few weeks, so I am not trying to lose weight at the moment. It does make sense though, my motivation for the camera is greater than the motivation for the weight loss, so I'd rather just hold steady than try to force weight loss and then feel some negativity towards the whole thing and put on a lot of weight.

So that's it, really. Holding steady.

Oh, by the way, the appetite reduction lasted a whole one day. It was rather disappointing, but reading the blog that the books author wrote, he showed graphs on weight loss, people with little weight to lose didn't really lose much on the Shangri-Lah diet. They certainly lost it though if they were heavier though. I'd still recommend it to others to see if it works for them.

Appetite, what appetite?

As it happened, I didn't start off well with the Shang-ri Lah diet, but the last 2 nights I've been having two tablespoons of extra light Olive oil in the middle of the night, when I have my 'gap', which I've been having for years now (caused by depression). It doesn't taste bad, it's quite easy to drink. I wasn't sure whether taking it in the middle of the night was the right thing to do, but it was easy in terms of needing to be at least 1 hour away from the consumption of other food.

So today, I get up and don't bother with breakfast, as I wasn't hungry. By about 2pm I decide that it was probably a good idea to eat something, so I had some whey powder and a few other things. Not much, though. Later on in the day I decided that again, it was a good idea that I should eat some food, lest I become faint due to lack of eating.

I may be corrected later on, but it looks like the Shang-ri Lah dieting is working! I only consumed about 20g of protein today, which is a lot less than usual, but I have to honestly say that today

I HAVE NOT BEEN HUNGRY TODAY AT ALL!

I suppose that I have this fear that the appetite suppressant will lose its effectiveness, after all, things can't be this good, can they? I was surprised that 2 days was all it needed to work. I will slowly get rid of the fear 10, 20, 30 days from now when my appetite still is low and I know that it's not going to come back.

So that's good, I don't know how to take it all in, I'll just wait and see I suppose.

On another good note, the price of the camera that I want to buy when I finish my weight loss has dropped by $100! That means that I won't have to wait too long in order to get it, the day I save up all my money is the day that I finish my weight loss, the two go together. It's a special price, so that means it may go up again, I doubt it'll increase to what it was before.

Yesterday Becky and I were talking about my weight loss. I suppose she's sick of it just as much as I am, so we came to an arrangement. When I finish my weight loss, she'll pay me $100 rather than $5 per kg, and we are going to make a bet about afterwards. We've bet $150 about whether I can maintain my weight after I finish this weight loss, and not gain. I have to stay within 2kg for a year. I think that I can manage that pretty easily, it's a good incentive although she obviously has doubts so it is my job to prove her wrong.

Lollies galore!

(For those not living in Australasia, lollies mean confectionary).

I don't know if I have said this before on this blog, but I should say something about my girlfriend Becky. She eats a lot of junk food. Sweets, chocolate, chips, fatty fried food, you name it, she eats it. Since she spends most of her time at my place now, that means that I am surrounded by tasty treats that are very tempting, and sometimes they are too tempting, and I end up sampling her latest bagful of lollies. As you can imagine, this is not good for my weight loss (yes, her health as well, but let's not go there...) as once I have a few nibbles of what she's just bought I often just can't stop myself (sugar addiction?) and grab a handful of what there is, only to come back a minute later for another handful.

Anyway, this happened quite a bit yesterday, I realised that I had been going well on the old weight loss thing, and Becky's treats came calling, I just couldn't resist. I'd broken the old no sugar a few days earlier (I'd gone 6 days which wasn't too bad), was trying to get back into it, then this happened. I don't blame her, of course, but the situation isn't ideal.

To top it off, I had one of those weird, all sorts of concepts dreams, where you dream about this and that, whatever is on your mind. Anyway, in the dream I opened a box at my parents place, and what did I see? A lollie. Immediately, I scoffed it down in less than a few seconds.

It does show that I am a fast eater. I wish I wasn't, I suppose I've trained myself to be this way, but the fact that I'd dreamt about it made a clear that I was that way.

I was reminded of the television show The Biggest Loser where they had jars and jars of their favourite lollies to tempt them. Were they tempted? No. I wished that I was like that.

So I decided to do something about it, I got some money and headed out to the local supermarket to buy some sweets, enough to fill a 2 litre water container. I glued the lid down, and the container of lollies is now sitting proudly right next to the container of money. As time progresses, the container of money will fill up next to the container of sweets.

The basic idea is to remind myself that

1) I am trying to lose weight
2) I need self control in this department
3) I can eat this when I've finished the weight loss

So that is something new. I'm hoping that it will be useful and remind me that I'm meant to be in a journey of learning self control and how to lose weight easily.

So what happens if I break open the container (unlikely, but you never know)? I promise to donate $20 to the ACT, a right wing political party here in New Zealand that I despise.

I'm hoping that these reminders (the money container and the sweets container) will remind me that I should be losing weight, avoiding fatty, sugary food and looking after myself.

New diet

Yesterday I found out about a new diet, the Shangri-lah diet. The idea is roughly that you trick your brain into thinking that you live in a place with abundant food, by having food with high energy and low taste. This is meant to suppress your appetite. Yes, it does work for some people (and doesn't work for others, of course). The thing about it is that it is simple - I only have to take some olive oil at a specific time of the day.

I've decided to make a commitment to try it for 2 months and see what happens. Yes, I'll carry on with the no sugar, flour, fried food since that is going well.

Finances are as follows:

Wednesday $1 daily save bringing $154 in total so far.

Weight 80.4kg, lowest weight in about 50 days.

5 days and counting

It's been 5 days since I've had sugar, flour and fried food. It's going well, just like it went well about 4 months ago. The biggest issue will be when I have to go to social occasions, there is a certainty that I won't be able to keep to my diet, that's sad, but there won't be fruit or veges or other things. I want to keep my diet private from the people who invite me, I've been on a diet for so long a while ago I decided that I don't want to get a reputation as being a 'permanent dieter' so any weight loss will be done in the privacy of my own home. Sounds kinky, doesn't it?

I look back and wonder why I didn't keep on with the no sugar etc after the wedding I went to in November. It just is so much easier without it, I don't have the cravings and urges and conflicts that I recall having. Because of this, I've decided to see if I can jump back on the diet when I have to go off because of a social occasion. By that I mean within about 24 hours of going off it, I'm back on it. So a goal for the future is to see whether I can do the 24 hour thing, I hope so but that sugar urge is very strong, as I have come to see clearly now.

It does feel strange that my finances have become such an issue in deciding when the diet finishes. The good thing about being on the sugar/f/ff free diet is that I do spend less on food, yes veges are expensive and I try to have 500g of them a day, but one trip to Muffin Break will buy the equivalent of almost 4 days of veges, so I am definitely saving there.

Speaking of finances, here is the current breakdown on my savings for the camera:

Christmas and birthday gifts = $140

Sunday $1 daily save + $6 food tax = $7
Monday $1 daily save + $2 food tax = $3
Tuesday $1 daily save + $2 food tax = $3
so in total I have $153 towards an estimated $700 for the camera.
(food tax is a fee I charge myself of $2 when I by any food)

Weight: 80.6kg, lowest weight in about 13 days.

Starting over again with the camera money

I have decided that now that I'm losing weight again, I'm going to start over again with the finances for the camera. The reason is that I'm just too far behind, and it's pointless trying to catch up, it'll take too long (months) and be a distraction from the proper saving. It looks like the actual saving is really important for my weight loss.

So I've got money from Christmas and my birthday, and I'm from today putting in money using the same rules as before - currently a dollar a day. I've been putting on weight as the graph shows, I'm back to where I was about a month ago. That's a shame, but those trying to lose weight will know that you've got to let these problems go because there are so many of them over a space of time.

The going without sugar, flour, fried food is going really well. It's only been 2 days (actually about 45 hours) but I haven't been missing it too much. I'll be going shopping today, this is probably the hardest part as walking through the supermarket aisles and seeing all of the food you can't eat can be a bit depressing and frustrating.

No sugar, flour and fried food again

Although it shouldn't be, my weight just seems to be going up, up and up. Slowly, but it's definitely in the wrong direction. I was reading another blog where the author said how they couldn't go more than a few days without sugar, and then they had a big 'blowout', so I decided to do the no sugar, flour, fried food again. For as many days as possible, although if I go on a trip to see where the ashes of an ex-partner are buried, then I'll stop when I do that.

Last time I did it, I lasted a whole 24 days! Actually, that's just going without sugar, but I lost 2.5kg, which isn't bad. I'm hoping that I'll get under 80kg with this one, who knows when that happens.

I've realised that the money container for my camera and my weight loss are very tightly linked. If I don't hear the jingle jangle of coins falling into the container every day, I just won't lose weight. So my giving it an IOU recently because I'm really short of money had an effect on my weight loss. It's unexpected and disappointing but that's the way it is.

Back to the no sugar, flour, fried food. I Started this yesterday (Friday) and will continue as long as possible, unless I go travelling.

Money vs weight

I have to admit that I've been putting on weight recently, my girlfriend and my birthdays are only 8 days apart, I'm allowed to eat freely on those days, but as a lot of people would expect, I'm finding that I'm eating freely in the days between them. I suppose it's to be expected.

Anyway, I have realised that a greater problem has arisen. I'm going to save a lot of money towards the camera, and I want to syncronise the saving money and losing weight so the day I have saved up enough money to buy the camera is the day that I finish losing weight.

Unfortunately, I think that maybe I've bitten off more than I can chew in terms of the cost of the camera, or rather the daily amount to be put away is just too much. This means that I've got to delay the losing weight as if I achieve goal weight and have not got enough money to buy the camera, I'll be frustrated at not having it.

Because of this, I've decided for a halving of current weight loss / saving efforts, until there is what there should be in the container (I've been basically giving it an IOU). I'm not sure when that will happen, so I won't even try to guess. This could delay the whole weight loss effort by as much as 5 months, but that's unlikely to happen.

So, until I am not owing the money container:
average daily goal: 50g loss

each day: up to 149g loss over a week: throw away $1
150-299g loss throw away $0.50 and save $0.50
over 300g loss save $1

I will double the 'food tax' to $2 which is paid into the container each time I buy food, plus my girlfriend is sponsoring me to the tune of $5 per kg.

I'll be giving all the readers here the stats on how I'm saving, rather than keeping it private, where it's likely to be 'fiddled' with as needs arise.

It's just too hot here

Today must have been the hottest day of the year here, the temperature got to about 32 degrees, something that I'm just not used to. I really like the heat, but today it got to the point that it was too hot, and I got sufficiently tired from it that I needed a sleep.

That's good because it shows that when I lose 15kg, I should be a lot cooler. I really like the heat normally so I am looking forward to enjoying it again, rather than feeling uncomfortable and sweaty.

Birthday indulgence

I had my birthday on Tuesday, and I have to say that I enjoyed it. Becky and I spent the whole day together, we went to see the film Babel which was ok, and I ate as much as I wanted to. Actually, I overate, I reached a point where I have consumed so much sugar that I couldn't eat any more for half an hour or so. That happens about once every 2-3 years so it is more proof that my system to suppress my appetite is 'broken'. This may be related to tiredness because one of the best appetite suppressants for me is an afternoon sleep.

Anyway, I am getting back into the weight loss. First, I'm going off the sugar, flour, fried food again. I usually lose quite a bit of weight when I start doing that. The annoying thing is that social engagements provide these foods in abundance. So I am allowed to eat these foods for the duration of the engagement and no more, ie after the event I am not allowed to eat the same way.

Camera news: I found out that the Kodak C875 does not have an eyepiece viewfinder, and have decided to not buy it, choosing instead a Canon A630. This is more expensive, but it's all relative really. I will be the lowest weight in 11 1/2 years so I'm allowed to treat myself. The good news from this is that I have to extend the weight loss period so I can save up the money, I'm looking at about 100g a day weight loss, quite doable.

Yesterday I tried on my new jeans, the ones I haven't worn for longer than a couple of hours. They are tight, the thighs are really tight, let alone actually doing them up. Yes, they were put on while lying down, the ideal position to put on tight pants.

I've been at a plateau for a while now, which means that I am throwing money away, part of my plan to speed up the weight loss system. That is fine, I don't mind doing it because there is a chance that I'll get the money back. I'll explain later on.

I haven't weighed myself in the last few days so a graph is not forthcoming. That'll happen in a few days when I start to 'empty out'.

90kg. Oh dear

As an experiment, I decided to calculate the value of all the weight that I've put on and taken off over the years since I became unwell. On my spreadsheet, I chose to average the last 6 weeks of readings (I chose that value because it ignores short-term fluctuations) which is graphed above, then calculated the total amount that I have put on and taken off. If I add the 15kg that I expect to have lost in the next 4 months, that means that I have put on and taken off 90 kilograms. That is an awful amount of weight, it's heavier than I've ever been, or would want to be. It is also nearly 2 years of losing weight at the maximum recommended rate of losing weight, and probably about 3-4 years of seriously trying. It's a lot of stress for me, and it's something that I could have done without. Seriously done without.

I think that my plan when I reach goal weight of putting money away for a fancy camera (for a few years) is a good one. A gift to myself, something that I would normally not had spent money on. As said earlier, money will only go to the fancy camera when I am within 1kg of my goal weight.

I'm hoping that this will be enough to help me maintain my weight. It's not an issue now, but when I finish losing weight it will be.

I've been thinking about motivation recently

With this decision about getting a new camera when I finish my weight loss, I've been thinking more about motivation recently. I've come up with some thoughts. These are of course not the first time they've been written. Just the first time I've accepted them and placed them in my train of thought for more than a few seconds.

I have difficulty at university, mainly because of health issues (lack of ability to study full-time due to physical health issues and also depression). But I keep battling on. Course after course. What is my prime motivation? Graduating, of course, but there's more than that. In 2002, when my mother was dying I did something very smart. I didn't realise how smart until a few years ago. I asked her to write a graduation card for me. I then gave her $5 and asked her to place it in the graduation card, so I could have an afternoon tea that day. I also suggested that she place some money of her own in the card, as $5 won't get a very good afternoon tea. I have no idea whether she did or not, I will find out when I open the card, probably a week before I graduate. I'd say it's 50/50 either way. Anyway, when I am studying, I often think of the moment when I open the envelope and see what is inside the card. Did she put in extra money? I'll never know until I finish my degree. I suppose that the mental image of my opening the card and seeing did she or didn't see is my immediate motivator for my degree. Having the degree is the long-term motivator, but knowing whether she did or not is the immediate motivator.

Weight loss. I've been reading weight loss blogs for about a year now, probably 10-20 regularly so that's maybe 15 years of people losing weight, and I have yet to read of someone finishing their diet. Ok, that's not 100% percent correct. I did read of one person who lost all of their excess weight, but she wrote that at an earlier time, as I was catching up on her blog posts. Also, most people who finish their diet will put in back on. Only about 3% of people are at a weight that they lost to reach and are stable at that point. It comes back to an immediate motivator.

I am so glad that I copied Renee's idea about having a significant purchase type reward when I finish my weight loss (my camera). I won't be able to afford the camera otherwise, but by putting a few dollars in a jar each day when I lose weight, I'll be able to buy it. I'm not happy with the camera I've got now, so the new camera is the immediate motivator.

I think that people don't use this method to lose weight, usually it's just something way in the future such as "to see my grandchildren grow up". A much better motivator would be "my pants are too tight" or "my high school reunion is in 6 months".

Anway, that's my thoughts about this motivation issue. The more definite a reason to lose weight, the more likely it will happen.

Slacking off somewhat

As the graph shows, I've been putting on a bit of weight in the last 2 days. Nothing too much, but I know that in the past these 2 day things have turned into 2 week (or longer) events, with my putting on a kilogram or two. Nothing to worry about, yet.

Anyway, the system is now working - my giving money away unless I lose 600g or more, thankfully today has been ok: I lost 650g in the last week, but there is a chance that I'll be giving money away sometime in the near future. Time will tell I suppose.

I'm keeping the time period at 7 days for the moment - but I may drop it a day or so, depending on how I think that it would go.

Valentines day is over, I ate badly that day but I've got my birthday soon, that's an issue as well. I don't normally put on much weight over my birthday anyway, it's going to be ok I hope.

1 kilogram less, 15 to go

I have managed to lose my first recent kilogram. No, that's not a great achivement (I am, after all up where I've been greater than the blog starting weight, as well as post Christmas weight) but each kilogram that I lose is one small step towards success. The whole getting a camera thing seems to be a good idea - or put it this way: I can't think of a better one.

Kilogram 15 was put on between the 14th and 20th January, rather a short time I think, I was probably indulging too much on treats and just not getting into the whole dieting thing.

Yet again, I have modified my whole putting money away for the camera, due to a change in the way I calculate weights. Up to 299g weight loss per week, I throw away $2. 300-599g a week I throw away $1 and $1 goes towards the camera, above 600g $2 goes towards the camera. This starts on Wednesday, since there is a small plateau from last week I want to get rid of first. I may change the period that I look at from 7 days to 6, I'm not sure on that, I'll give this system a few weeks and then look at it again.

Currently I have $38 towards the camera, about 10% of its price in New Zealand. I've thrown away nothing (so far). Also, I've been thinking about the whole what happens after I've lost the weight. What do I do to keep motivated? I told my girlfriend (who has been watching me diet for the last 3 years, with no real achivements) that I'd pay her $20 for every kg that I put on. I'm fine with that, but what about for me? Current idea is to put $1 away for each day that I'm within 1kg of 66kg, to be put towards a new digital SLR-type camera, probably getting one after about 2-3 years. That's likely to change of course, knowing me.

Jean Free

Yesterday, I realised that my current set of jeans had worn out in the thigh area, and the wear wasn't worth patching, so now I am without jeans. Or rather, jeans that I can wear. I really like wearing jeans, they're warm, soft and flattering. I'd happily wear them everyday for the rest of my life if I had the chance. It is telling that the last pair wore out in the thigh, I don't think that's happened before, the thighs rubbing together did that and we all know what causes that. Yes, thighs aren't meant to rub together to that extent.

I will miss my jeans, but there is salvation. In about April last year I bought some jeans that I had decided that would be smaller than my current set, in anticipation of losing weight. They have never been worn, as they were just too tight for more than a few hours, it just wasn't worth trying to wear them. I guess they are a month or two away.

So that's more motivation. No jeans, just beige pants that are too 'flappy' which I've never been keen on. Wearing them will motivate me, no doubt you will read about the time when I can wear the new pair.

Back home, losing

As the graph shows, the last few days I've been losing weight again (two dots per day), the stress at my fathers place has stopped, but now my girlfriend has requested that we delay getting married so she can accept the concept of marriage (being a child of divorce). I've found the last few days quite depressing, no appetite so I suppose that's one good thing.

To change the subject, I've been 'good' here, although as the graph shows, there was a plateau earlier on in the week.

Because of all of this stress, I'm not throwing away money at the moment, which will happen (or rather, it may happen) in about 5 days when the plateau is not in the recent vicinity. More on that later.

However, the camera fund is going well, I've got roughly 7% of the value of the camera, which is roughly the amount that I've lost, so the two correlate.

Lowest weight in about 15 days.

Still here and losing

Right this very moment I am staying at my father's place - it is very stressful for all sorts of reasons, mainly related to my brother staying here as well. I thought I'd visit and we'd have the whole family here for the first time in 4 years, I'd forgotten how difficult he is to be around. That said, I'm going home in a day so I can relax then.

Surprisingly, I'm losing weight. I'm not sure why, since I am comfort eating because of the stress, I think that the scales are telling me lies but I can't be sure and I don't want to start using two scales, it's too fiddly.

While it's nice to lose weight, the problem with this is when the scales start telling the truth, I may not seem to be losing, or even may start gaining. In terms of money towards the camera, I'm still doing that, but I've decided to not throw money away until I get back home. I see the punishment of throwing money away as not fair since this situation is out of my control.

Time for a new graph, I'm taking reading twice a day and then fiddling the numbers so fluctuations are smoothed out. The last part of the graph looks really good but how long will it last?

Updated plans

I've been thinking about how to speed up the process of losing weight (and getting my new shiny camera), and here's what I've decided:

Weekly weight loss (each day)
up to 299g giving away $3
300-599g giving away $2
600-699g saving $1 and giving away $1
700-899g saving $2
900 and up saving $3

I think that is a better system - it speeds things up if I lose weight quickly, the day I reach 66kg is the day I get the camera so I want to know that I've got the money stored up.

Oh, forgot the blogs anniversary

So the 11th of this month was the one year anniversary of this blog, and I forgot it. Looking at the graph, I started well, then had a slow increase over a number of months, followed by about a month of losing weight, then the increase for Christmas. So after one year, I was about 2kg heavier than when I started, which is something that I didn't expect to happen. Additionally, I've put on weight since the 11th, but for the moment, I'm ignoring that.

The line on the graph moves up and down quite a bit, something that I intend to analyse some time in the future. Hopefully, when I do lose weight, and keep it off, the line will be as flat as possible.

Still having trouble with motivation

Even though said on Sunday that I was ready to start again, nothing seems to be happening! Motivation is still a problem for me at the moment. I think how it would be good to do this and that, but the actual progress in that department is lacking. So what to do about it?

Although my $10 per kg plan towards a camera is a good one, where there is a lack of motivation, a better one is just $2 per day towards the camera. In reality, it ends up being the same, but dropping $2 into my container each day is a lot more motivating than dropping $10 or $15 each week, or at least for the moment.

So here is my new plan. Yes, the old plan didn't last very long! Each day, I weigh myself and I know what my weight is quite accurately due to various methods. I ask myself a question: am I 700g or more lighter than 7 days ago? If the answer is yes, $2 goes into my container. If not, $2 goes into my pocket, to be dropped somewhere on the pavement or left on a seat or table somewhere public. Since I don't know what I weighed a week ago, I shall assume that I'm losing weight and place $2 each day for the first week. I will also try to take one photograph with my current camera each day. That my motivate me more to lose weight.

Time to get back on the horse!

I feel as if I'm treading water here, just maintaining and not putting any real effort into losing weight. That is so true, I have to finish my diet before I get married (probably in October) and I'm sick of having this 'I'm on a diet, but I'm not acting like that I'm on one' feeling.

I got broadband a week ago, and had a look at Renee Gets Fit. She had this video blog entry where she says that she'll buy heaps of things when she finishes her diet. Well, I want that. Or more specifically, I want a better digital camera. I just got an insurance replacement for the one that was stolen in the burglary, and it's not that great. The LCD display is too small, since I like to view photos on the screen, that is an issue for me. An important issue. Also, the resolution would be double my current resolution (8MP vs 4MP). It's a Kodak C875.

So my plan, similar to Renee's is to put away money, $10 per kg towards the camera. That's good, but I want to lose weight quickly, not slowly. So what's the plan for that? Each week (on a Sunday), I have $5 that can either be placed in the (sealed) jar if I have lost 700g or more, or the money is simply given away. That's right, left in the library, dropped onto the pavement, something like that. Since I hate wasting money, that's my disincentive to gain weight or be stable.

I'm back

My apologies for not having updated the blog for some time. My computer was being fiddled with, then it was Christmas, and then New Year, so finally I'm back. I've put on about 1.5kg but that's ok because most people put on weight over Christmas. My diet restarts about 3:30pm this afternoon, no sugar, flour or fried food. Let the losing weight begin!

Plateau appearing

It's started again - a plateau. Loss per day for the last week and a bit:

3/12 175g
4/12 150g
5/12 125g
6/12 100g
7/12 100g
8/12 75g
9/12 62g
10/12 50g
11/12 37g

So my weight loss is definitely slowing down. Time to bring out an organised plateau breaker - something that I do whenever weight loss drops below 100g. Increase the number of units of protein to 4 per day, and minimise other stuff. So I'm aiming for 4 units of protein today, plus fruit.

One more kg lost

It only took 6 days, rather than the expected 7 - 11 days to lose, but I am pleased to say goodbye to kilogram 14. As said in the last post, going off flour seems to have had a large effect in helping suppress my appetite and helping with the weight loss.

Now onto kilogram 13: gained between 15th May and 9th June, still way too fast, indicating my eating was out of control. Again I want to lose it over 7 to 11 days.

Yesterday for reasons that seemed good at the time I splurged and had bread, sugar, flour etc. This was 'allowed', but I have to make sure that I don't continue on with it today - it was a one time thing.

Unfortunately, I am going through a period of lots of stress - I shall see an end to it in the next month or so, I'm getting depressed and losing sleep and generally suffering. The good thing is that I am not 'emotional eating'. That's because very few people eat 4 or 5 apples when they are upset. So apart from the losing weight, going without sugar and flour etc has another advantage.

Weight today: 79.0kg, lowest weight in 26 weeks.

Losing weight too fast

I have pleasure in saying that I'm losing weight too fast. I should be losing weight at about 150g a day, I'm losing up to 40g a day more than that, so I'm eating high fat food (mainly peanuts) to reduce the weight loss. Not enough to stop the weight loss, of course. Looks like going off flour was a good idea. Current weight 79.4kg.

Another kilogram down

I have been thinking that now with 14kg to lose, I should try to mentally lose each kilogram by itself, and not think too much about how long it is going to take to complete this thing. So, I'll post here each time I lose a kilogram, hopefully that will help me and stop me from thinking it's too much.

So: kilogram 14 - I put this kilogram on between the 10th and 23rd of June, which is a short period indeed. Faster than usual, actually. If I recall correctly, I was under the stress of exams.

So my goal for this kilogram is to lose it in between 7 and 11 days, without any weight gain, however minute. Hopefully this isn't too hard. Wish me luck. Roll on kilogram 13!

Recovered from wedding gain - but was it worth it?

I have finally recovered from the gain that happened when I indulged in the two days of my girlfriends friends wedding. 9 days later. That's a lot, more than I expected it to take. Was it worth it? Probably not. I really need to a) make sure that I don't eat too much during these 'off' periods and b) I need to make sure that when I am over the event, I need to really focus on losing weight and probably counting kilojoules.

Interesting research

I happened to come across research online about the effect on body weight by the US holiday Thanksgiving. Titled The effect of the Thanksgiving Holiday on weight gain by Hull, Radley etc, in the online magazine Nutrition Journal, the address is here. As expected, people put on weight. What I didn't expect was that some people didn't put on weight. The graph above, taken from the paper, shows that the bigger a person is, the more weight that they put on. It also shows that some people actually lost weight over the 1-2 weeks between weighings.

The question is: is this relevant to me? I posted a list of 'off' days recently, where I was allowed to eat what I wanted. Based on the recent time-off period where I went to a wedding, the increase in weight effect I am still trying to get rid of, it seems to be that maybe if I ate normally in these times, I'd finish my weight loss maybe a month earlier. That is definitely worth considering.

I suppose it is hard for me to get away from the old mindset of eating lots of yummy food on my birthday and Christmas day. Ok, that's alright but there are other days there as well.

Going without flour

I'm still waiting for my weight to settle back to pre-wedding, but I'm thinking maybe I should do something to speed it up. Going off flour is that thing. At 6pm today I'll finish the last of my pasta that I've got at home, and I want to have a trial one week period without flour. Wish me luck.

2 days off

On Saturday I went to a wedding. So, I had to make a decision about whether I'd stay on my diet or relax a bit. Since I don't go to weddings very often, I chose to relax a bit. There was a barbeque the next day (with the newly married couple), and I chose to relax that day too. I enjoyed sugar, bread and fried food. That means that I've started to gain weight, but it's only temporary. No real problems.

So what days are 'off' days? I've made a list:

Social group end of year event
Christmas day
New Years eve from 9pm
New Years day until 4pm
Valentines day
My birthday
Girlfriends birthday

These are the days that I'm allowed to eat treats and otherwise banned foods.

Oh by the way, that meant that I broke the 24 day long period without bread, sugar and fried food. I'm pretty proud of that achievement.

Plateau broken

I am pleased to say that the plateau that I recently had has been broken. I don't know why it happened, obviously eating more was a factor, but I don't think that I was eating significantly more, but who knows? It's gone now, and I need to keep track of my weight more, plus my eating values. I suppose I was feeling invincible having such a good weight loss and then it suddenly stopped.

So I'm counting kilojoules. Here are my recent values:

Sunday 12th November 19957
Salada biscuit 625
Cheese slice 271
Apples 436
Rice biscuits 500
Pams Stir Fry Vege Mix 1720
Lettuce 140
Apples 4578
Carrot 1547
Colby cheese slices 2322
Mandarins 1683
Yams 3159
Whey powder 992

Monday 13th November 992
Whey powder 992

Tuesday 14th November 1488
Whey powder 1488

Wednesday 15th November 3000
Coffee and muffin 3000 est

Remember, these are the foods that I bought, not I ate. Average so far is 6359kj, a bit high but ok. I'm aiming for 6000kj.

So my weight is 80.3kj and the lowest weight in 21 weeks.

Plateau approaching

16 days without sugar, bread and fried food, so that's going well. However, my weight loss seems to be levelling off somewhat, in the last 2 or 3 days the loss has reduced to a fraction of what it used to be. Time to start counting kilojoules as before I think. That means counting when I buy it, rather than when I eat it (see a month back for details) because it makes it much, much easier and therefore much more likely that I will continue counting. I'm aiming for 6,000 kj, but I'm prepared to go lower if I can.

3 months to go

I know that I'm risking having egg all over my face when I say this, but I do really believe that I just might be only 3 months away from finishing this diet. With about 14kg to go, and losing weight at more than 150g a day, it looks pretty certain (at this moment) that I'm only 3 months away from success. The last time I was 3 months away was about 3 years ago. Of course, I was still having sugar, and eventually I put on weight again.

The whole 3 month period is important because in my opinion, 3 months is sufficiently short that someone can tolerate a diet for that long. So it's always been some sort of 'holy grail' for me, something that I can start counting down the days to the finish of this thing. My appetite has improved back to where it was before I recently got a stomach bug, and I'm still losing weight.

So yes, my weight loss is continuing well, as the graph above shows. As you can see in the graph, I started putting on weight in early September, which is when my course starting getting intensive and requiring a lot of attention.

Current weight: 80.6kg, lowest weight in 20 weeks.

11 days without sugar, fried food or bread

First, apologies to those few who read this blog. Owing to various faults, some mine, some not, I have had no internet access for the last week. So I have done very well at losing weight, I've lost about 2kg in the last 11 days by not having any sugar, fried food or bread. Also I had some sort of stomach bug that emptied my system and then suppressed my appetite, that helped as well. Anyway, the weight loss is going exceptionally well. I've had to try to eat more because I'm losing more than my maximum desired loss of 150g/day. It's all going swimmingly as they say. Estimated date (yes, this isn't that wise at this point) is 7th Feb next year.

The whey powder has helped a lot. Before I got the bug I was having 4 units a day (about 80g protein) which can be expensive, but I've been on this diet trip for so long, who cares anymore? There is so much more to lose though, about 15kg so it'll be a while yet. Also, my brother seems motivated about his weight loss, well sort of, he paid me $50 because he put on more weight than expected after his overseas trip.

Todays weight: 80.6kg, lowest weight in about 64 days.

65 hours without sugar

Going without sugar, bread and fried food seems to be going well at the moment. Apologies for the lack of postings, I really don't have much to say at the moment. Decided to have fruit these first few days because veges are too expensive. So yes, it's going well. Lowest weight in 30 days.

25 hours without sugar

So far, it's been ok. I have had veges and whey powder which is a bit boring, but I am managing. So I'm doing ok. I think that I can do this, all I need is a little short-term motivation.

Sugar addiction

Recently, I have been trying to reduce the amount of sugar that I'm eating, with poor results. So I decide to not have a 'treat', and the next day, guess what? I'm having a treat again. A few days ago I had a craving for fudge, something I'm not a great consumer of, simply because someone mentioned it a while ago. It's crazy, and totally uncontrollable. I simply can't go more than about 72 hours without sugar.

The answer is to go cold turkey. No more Muffin Break. No more chocolate. No more sweets. The same goes for bread and fried food as well. How long? As long as possible. It's obvious that moderation is not suitable for me. So as of 7pm on Wednesday 25th, I'm off sugar, for as long as possible.

In order to help with this, here are the things I want to do for the first 3-5 days:
increase protein consumption to 5 units of protein a day instead of 3
reduce or stop consumption of high sugar fruit (oranges, mandarins, apples, pears etc)
try not to eat corn (within reason - if it's mixed in with frozen veges that's ok)
I will try to post here every 12 hours with my progress

96 days

Another ok day, bought the following food:
Total 9210kj
Whey powder 1500
Apples 4360
Cabbage 1100
Carrots 2250

Todays intake is roughly:
Total 6502
Apples 1308 4 of 5
Carrots 459 4 of 5
Frozen veges 845 4 of 4
Whey powder 1500
Apples 1090 1 of 4
Cabbage 550 1 of 2
Carrots 750 1 of 3

6502kj is just above what I'd like to be having. Average over the past 4 days is 8951kj, a bit on the high side, but this will drop as time goes on. Not sure what my weight is at the moment, reading this morning was 1kg less than yesterday, probably scale error, will find out in a few more readings.

97 days

Had minimal cravings for sugar today, which is good. I hope that I can last until Friday for my next fix. Spent some money and kj on a fruit drink, not because I wanted it, but because I wanted the container. I needed to mix up the whey powder at the library, and had nothing to mix it in. Hence purchasing the drink.

Theoretical consumption:
Tuesday 17th October 5685kj
Apples 1308 3 of 5
Salada biscuits 750 3 of 3
Carrots 459 3 of 5
Frozen veges 845 3 of 4
Whey powder 1500
Fruit drink 823

Finally, I get less than my goal energy value. It will take a while to get the average below 6500 though.

Spending:
2323kj
Whey powder 1500
Fruit drink 823

Total spending = 26594 / 3 days = 8865kj. Still too high, but getting lower. I assume at this value, I am losing weight. By the way, I am lowest weight in about 1 day, maybe 2. Cool. In other words, my weight has peaked, and is slowly decreasing. There is a touch of sarcasm in those words.

98 days - sugar cravings

Today started off well, before I came to the realisation that I needed sugar. It's been 3 days, which is pretty short but I'm trying to wean myself off that evil drug, slowly. So I went and had a treat - coffee and slice. I'll see if I can manage 4 days from now.


Monday 16th October
9637 kilojoules
Coffee and slice 4000
Apples 1308 2 of 5
Salada biscuits 750 2 of 3
Cabbage 575 2 of 2
Carrots 459 2 of 5
Spinach 200 2 of 2
Frozen veges 845 2 of 4
Whey powder 1500

This is much higher than it should be, same as yesterday. That's because of the coffee and slice, of course.

Spending:

Monday 16th October
5200
Coffee and slice 4000
Spinach -300
Whey powder 1500

You may notice a few things. First, spinach is negative. Although it is very filling, I have realised that spinach is not really very tasty. So out it goes. Yes, I know that there are starving children in India (did your parents tell you this?). Whey powder is listed each day as being bought. That's because I bought about 45,000 kj of it a while back, that is bound to throw off any calculations short term, so it's easier to list it daily rather than when I buy it.

Total spending is 24,271 / 2 days = 12,135 which doesn't mean much at the moment. Give it a week or so and then it will mean something. I have to say that I really like not counting kilojoules. It makes it much, much easier.

I don't remember whether I've said this or not but my brother and I have now got a system going, put on more than 2kg and we pay the other person $50. That is a good motivator for me, but for him - he's allowed 4kg for Christmas, plus just had an overseas holiday where I said that he could put on 5kg, so he has yet to have any real success. So yes, he's 'allowed' 11kg this year.

Good news too, my girlfriend is sponsoring my weight loss with $5/kg. I'm doing the same for her. The issue isn't the money, I want her on my side when I start to seriously lose weight. Similarly, I want her to lose weight as her weight at the moment is far too high in health terms. I offered to sponsor her $30/kg but the condition was that if she put on weight, she had to pay it back, so she wasn't that keen. Similarly for me of course.

99 days - I'm fed up with counting kilojoules

Yes, it's been a while. That's because I've had 2 assignments in my course that needed a lot of attention. So I've put on a bit of weight. Because my course came first, that wasn't really a problem. Now I'm back into the dieting thing.

About 2 weeks ago, I got totally fed up with counting kilojoules. I was constantly thinking about food, because I had to know exactly what I was eating, the weight of it and making sure that I didn't forget anything. Total pain.

The solution was simple, I've known about it for ages, but deferred trying it because it wasn't as useful as the normal method. Rather than count kilojoules of food that I've eaten, I count kilojoules of food that I buy. That means that it's a lot easier to keep records, but less feedback. For each day, I don't know exactly how much energy I've eaten.

So to solve that problem, I use an estimate of how much I've eaten based on what I've bought recently. A 2kg bag of apples might last 6 days, so I divide the energy of the apples over the 6 days. Similarly for other food, ie veges last a shorter time so the period of division is shorter. So everything I buy is divided up into a number of days so I roughly know what value of energy I'm eating.

So that's me for now. I've put on weight, but it's too early to see my exact weight, I need to have a few days of readings first.

Food bought or eaten today: (kilojoules)

Bought:

19071 kj total
Special K 936
Cabbage halves 1150
Salada biscuits 2250
Coffee 500
Apples 3kg 6540
Carrots 1.5kg 2295
Spinach 400
Frozen Veges 3380
Whey powder 1500
Fancy biscuit 120

Eaten:

7193 kj total
Special K 936
Whey powder 1500
Coffee 500 est
Apples 1308 1 of 5
Salada biscuits 750 1 of 3
Cabbage 575 1 of 2
Carrots 459 1 of 5
Spinach 200 1 of 2
Frozen veges 845 1 of 4
Fancy biscuit 120

today was a bit high in terms of energy, I'm looking at 6000-6500kj average.

Oh by the way, last night I went to a barbeque with my girlfriends family. I wasn't looking forward to it, for obvious reasons. Lots of food being offered, and feeling 'obligated' to eat something. Well, before we went I did eat something. Whey powder and an apple. That kept me full, and so at the barbeque I ate only cabbage. That's right. So I turned down beer, wine, chips, sausages, chicken on a long stick, slabs of meat of some description, pasta, bread, salad with lots of fatty dressing no doubt. I probably ate about 500kj, there was something on the cabbage but it didn't seem fatty to taste. What is surprising was that it was cold, and we were outside, so why the cold didn't stimulate my appetite, I don't know.

On the topic of going out when on a diet, if someone says "you don't need to go on a diet". What do you say? "Thanks". Then SHUT UP. Similarly, what do you say when someone says "why are you on a diet?". "Why not?". Put the pressure on them to reply to your question.

Similarly, if someone says why they are on a diet I try to remind myself to say "you don't need to justify why you're on a diet". Someone did that to me about 7 years ago, one of the most flattering and memorable things someone has said.

100 days to go

I'm back after doing a really hard, long-winded assignment for me course. Yes, I've put on weight, but now I'm trying to take it off again! So the cycle repeats. I haven't put on much weight though. Probably only 500g or so. Anyway, I'm trying out the no sugar, bread or fried food diet. 6500kj intake, 3 units of protein, and exercise if needed.

Today I had the following:
Total energy 6513kj
Whey powder 1500
Carrots 1168
Apples 436
Pears 1694
Can of coke 639
Veges 1075

Bad food was the coke, because I am going off caffeine and didn't want a headache today. I'm phasing it out over a few days. A lot of what I ate today had lots of water in it, so I had a lot of bloating, especially later on in the day. Had to undo my jeans a few times, they were so tight.

Day 29

Starting tomorrow, I have decided to start running. Starting off at 2 minutes a day, increasing until I can't manage things anymore. I'll break the running into two pieces when the time gets long, in the morning and the evening. That sort of thing. Also, starting a "days since xxx" record.

xxx will include: bread, coke, KFC/McDonalds, Muffin Break etc.

The big thing is I'm thinking that maybe I won't reach my deadline - mid December. So I want to propose to my girlfriend then, so I think maybe I'll have to even though I haven't finished my diet. This probably doesn't sound much to a lot of people but to me, this is a bad thing.