Money vs weight

I have to admit that I've been putting on weight recently, my girlfriend and my birthdays are only 8 days apart, I'm allowed to eat freely on those days, but as a lot of people would expect, I'm finding that I'm eating freely in the days between them. I suppose it's to be expected.

Anyway, I have realised that a greater problem has arisen. I'm going to save a lot of money towards the camera, and I want to syncronise the saving money and losing weight so the day I have saved up enough money to buy the camera is the day that I finish losing weight.

Unfortunately, I think that maybe I've bitten off more than I can chew in terms of the cost of the camera, or rather the daily amount to be put away is just too much. This means that I've got to delay the losing weight as if I achieve goal weight and have not got enough money to buy the camera, I'll be frustrated at not having it.

Because of this, I've decided for a halving of current weight loss / saving efforts, until there is what there should be in the container (I've been basically giving it an IOU). I'm not sure when that will happen, so I won't even try to guess. This could delay the whole weight loss effort by as much as 5 months, but that's unlikely to happen.

So, until I am not owing the money container:
average daily goal: 50g loss

each day: up to 149g loss over a week: throw away $1
150-299g loss throw away $0.50 and save $0.50
over 300g loss save $1

I will double the 'food tax' to $2 which is paid into the container each time I buy food, plus my girlfriend is sponsoring me to the tune of $5 per kg.

I'll be giving all the readers here the stats on how I'm saving, rather than keeping it private, where it's likely to be 'fiddled' with as needs arise.

It's just too hot here

Today must have been the hottest day of the year here, the temperature got to about 32 degrees, something that I'm just not used to. I really like the heat, but today it got to the point that it was too hot, and I got sufficiently tired from it that I needed a sleep.

That's good because it shows that when I lose 15kg, I should be a lot cooler. I really like the heat normally so I am looking forward to enjoying it again, rather than feeling uncomfortable and sweaty.

Birthday indulgence

I had my birthday on Tuesday, and I have to say that I enjoyed it. Becky and I spent the whole day together, we went to see the film Babel which was ok, and I ate as much as I wanted to. Actually, I overate, I reached a point where I have consumed so much sugar that I couldn't eat any more for half an hour or so. That happens about once every 2-3 years so it is more proof that my system to suppress my appetite is 'broken'. This may be related to tiredness because one of the best appetite suppressants for me is an afternoon sleep.

Anyway, I am getting back into the weight loss. First, I'm going off the sugar, flour, fried food again. I usually lose quite a bit of weight when I start doing that. The annoying thing is that social engagements provide these foods in abundance. So I am allowed to eat these foods for the duration of the engagement and no more, ie after the event I am not allowed to eat the same way.

Camera news: I found out that the Kodak C875 does not have an eyepiece viewfinder, and have decided to not buy it, choosing instead a Canon A630. This is more expensive, but it's all relative really. I will be the lowest weight in 11 1/2 years so I'm allowed to treat myself. The good news from this is that I have to extend the weight loss period so I can save up the money, I'm looking at about 100g a day weight loss, quite doable.

Yesterday I tried on my new jeans, the ones I haven't worn for longer than a couple of hours. They are tight, the thighs are really tight, let alone actually doing them up. Yes, they were put on while lying down, the ideal position to put on tight pants.

I've been at a plateau for a while now, which means that I am throwing money away, part of my plan to speed up the weight loss system. That is fine, I don't mind doing it because there is a chance that I'll get the money back. I'll explain later on.

I haven't weighed myself in the last few days so a graph is not forthcoming. That'll happen in a few days when I start to 'empty out'.

90kg. Oh dear

As an experiment, I decided to calculate the value of all the weight that I've put on and taken off over the years since I became unwell. On my spreadsheet, I chose to average the last 6 weeks of readings (I chose that value because it ignores short-term fluctuations) which is graphed above, then calculated the total amount that I have put on and taken off. If I add the 15kg that I expect to have lost in the next 4 months, that means that I have put on and taken off 90 kilograms. That is an awful amount of weight, it's heavier than I've ever been, or would want to be. It is also nearly 2 years of losing weight at the maximum recommended rate of losing weight, and probably about 3-4 years of seriously trying. It's a lot of stress for me, and it's something that I could have done without. Seriously done without.

I think that my plan when I reach goal weight of putting money away for a fancy camera (for a few years) is a good one. A gift to myself, something that I would normally not had spent money on. As said earlier, money will only go to the fancy camera when I am within 1kg of my goal weight.

I'm hoping that this will be enough to help me maintain my weight. It's not an issue now, but when I finish losing weight it will be.

I've been thinking about motivation recently

With this decision about getting a new camera when I finish my weight loss, I've been thinking more about motivation recently. I've come up with some thoughts. These are of course not the first time they've been written. Just the first time I've accepted them and placed them in my train of thought for more than a few seconds.

I have difficulty at university, mainly because of health issues (lack of ability to study full-time due to physical health issues and also depression). But I keep battling on. Course after course. What is my prime motivation? Graduating, of course, but there's more than that. In 2002, when my mother was dying I did something very smart. I didn't realise how smart until a few years ago. I asked her to write a graduation card for me. I then gave her $5 and asked her to place it in the graduation card, so I could have an afternoon tea that day. I also suggested that she place some money of her own in the card, as $5 won't get a very good afternoon tea. I have no idea whether she did or not, I will find out when I open the card, probably a week before I graduate. I'd say it's 50/50 either way. Anyway, when I am studying, I often think of the moment when I open the envelope and see what is inside the card. Did she put in extra money? I'll never know until I finish my degree. I suppose that the mental image of my opening the card and seeing did she or didn't see is my immediate motivator for my degree. Having the degree is the long-term motivator, but knowing whether she did or not is the immediate motivator.

Weight loss. I've been reading weight loss blogs for about a year now, probably 10-20 regularly so that's maybe 15 years of people losing weight, and I have yet to read of someone finishing their diet. Ok, that's not 100% percent correct. I did read of one person who lost all of their excess weight, but she wrote that at an earlier time, as I was catching up on her blog posts. Also, most people who finish their diet will put in back on. Only about 3% of people are at a weight that they lost to reach and are stable at that point. It comes back to an immediate motivator.

I am so glad that I copied Renee's idea about having a significant purchase type reward when I finish my weight loss (my camera). I won't be able to afford the camera otherwise, but by putting a few dollars in a jar each day when I lose weight, I'll be able to buy it. I'm not happy with the camera I've got now, so the new camera is the immediate motivator.

I think that people don't use this method to lose weight, usually it's just something way in the future such as "to see my grandchildren grow up". A much better motivator would be "my pants are too tight" or "my high school reunion is in 6 months".

Anway, that's my thoughts about this motivation issue. The more definite a reason to lose weight, the more likely it will happen.

Slacking off somewhat

As the graph shows, I've been putting on a bit of weight in the last 2 days. Nothing too much, but I know that in the past these 2 day things have turned into 2 week (or longer) events, with my putting on a kilogram or two. Nothing to worry about, yet.

Anyway, the system is now working - my giving money away unless I lose 600g or more, thankfully today has been ok: I lost 650g in the last week, but there is a chance that I'll be giving money away sometime in the near future. Time will tell I suppose.

I'm keeping the time period at 7 days for the moment - but I may drop it a day or so, depending on how I think that it would go.

Valentines day is over, I ate badly that day but I've got my birthday soon, that's an issue as well. I don't normally put on much weight over my birthday anyway, it's going to be ok I hope.

1 kilogram less, 15 to go

I have managed to lose my first recent kilogram. No, that's not a great achivement (I am, after all up where I've been greater than the blog starting weight, as well as post Christmas weight) but each kilogram that I lose is one small step towards success. The whole getting a camera thing seems to be a good idea - or put it this way: I can't think of a better one.

Kilogram 15 was put on between the 14th and 20th January, rather a short time I think, I was probably indulging too much on treats and just not getting into the whole dieting thing.

Yet again, I have modified my whole putting money away for the camera, due to a change in the way I calculate weights. Up to 299g weight loss per week, I throw away $2. 300-599g a week I throw away $1 and $1 goes towards the camera, above 600g $2 goes towards the camera. This starts on Wednesday, since there is a small plateau from last week I want to get rid of first. I may change the period that I look at from 7 days to 6, I'm not sure on that, I'll give this system a few weeks and then look at it again.

Currently I have $38 towards the camera, about 10% of its price in New Zealand. I've thrown away nothing (so far). Also, I've been thinking about the whole what happens after I've lost the weight. What do I do to keep motivated? I told my girlfriend (who has been watching me diet for the last 3 years, with no real achivements) that I'd pay her $20 for every kg that I put on. I'm fine with that, but what about for me? Current idea is to put $1 away for each day that I'm within 1kg of 66kg, to be put towards a new digital SLR-type camera, probably getting one after about 2-3 years. That's likely to change of course, knowing me.

Jean Free

Yesterday, I realised that my current set of jeans had worn out in the thigh area, and the wear wasn't worth patching, so now I am without jeans. Or rather, jeans that I can wear. I really like wearing jeans, they're warm, soft and flattering. I'd happily wear them everyday for the rest of my life if I had the chance. It is telling that the last pair wore out in the thigh, I don't think that's happened before, the thighs rubbing together did that and we all know what causes that. Yes, thighs aren't meant to rub together to that extent.

I will miss my jeans, but there is salvation. In about April last year I bought some jeans that I had decided that would be smaller than my current set, in anticipation of losing weight. They have never been worn, as they were just too tight for more than a few hours, it just wasn't worth trying to wear them. I guess they are a month or two away.

So that's more motivation. No jeans, just beige pants that are too 'flappy' which I've never been keen on. Wearing them will motivate me, no doubt you will read about the time when I can wear the new pair.

Back home, losing

As the graph shows, the last few days I've been losing weight again (two dots per day), the stress at my fathers place has stopped, but now my girlfriend has requested that we delay getting married so she can accept the concept of marriage (being a child of divorce). I've found the last few days quite depressing, no appetite so I suppose that's one good thing.

To change the subject, I've been 'good' here, although as the graph shows, there was a plateau earlier on in the week.

Because of all of this stress, I'm not throwing away money at the moment, which will happen (or rather, it may happen) in about 5 days when the plateau is not in the recent vicinity. More on that later.

However, the camera fund is going well, I've got roughly 7% of the value of the camera, which is roughly the amount that I've lost, so the two correlate.

Lowest weight in about 15 days.

Still here and losing

Right this very moment I am staying at my father's place - it is very stressful for all sorts of reasons, mainly related to my brother staying here as well. I thought I'd visit and we'd have the whole family here for the first time in 4 years, I'd forgotten how difficult he is to be around. That said, I'm going home in a day so I can relax then.

Surprisingly, I'm losing weight. I'm not sure why, since I am comfort eating because of the stress, I think that the scales are telling me lies but I can't be sure and I don't want to start using two scales, it's too fiddly.

While it's nice to lose weight, the problem with this is when the scales start telling the truth, I may not seem to be losing, or even may start gaining. In terms of money towards the camera, I'm still doing that, but I've decided to not throw money away until I get back home. I see the punishment of throwing money away as not fair since this situation is out of my control.

Time for a new graph, I'm taking reading twice a day and then fiddling the numbers so fluctuations are smoothed out. The last part of the graph looks really good but how long will it last?